From the Desk of Leonard Graff
By Christopher Means

Dear Anton Vassilienko,
Director of Media, ABC Entertainment

I am writing to you in regards to a wonderful, touching, and hilarious program that began its life at the American Broadcasting Company. This was a program that taught valuable life lessons, enchanting personal reflection, and warmth to an entire decade. The story of two individuals: separated by protective intent without their knowledge, only to be reunited by sheer happenstance against the desires of their sentinel protectors and in turn uniting them all under a common banner. Yes, by now you have guessed that the program in question is, in fact, de Passe Entertainment’s own Sister, Sister.

When I first tuned in to watch the pilot episode of Sister, Sister, I can tell you now that I was skeptical. The episode begins at a shopping mall which, of course, glorifies the materialist nature of American commercialism. As I watched I was intrigued by the idea that a pair of twins could live their lives not knowing that they have an unknown identical sibling in the world. How long could a show carry the premise of two parallel storylines? Surely the twins would never meet; the odds of such a meeting were obviously infinitesimal and thus did not warrant further speculation. I was their merry fool indeed! Within that very episode the twins did meet, and with such unexpected consequences that my heart nearly collapsed from the joy, laughter, and sympathy for such a socially awkward moment.

My mind reeled at the endless amount of social and personal conflict that could arise from so many contradictions place together in tandem. Tia Landry (played by Tia Mowry) is an all-American bookworm with hopes for Harvard. Tamera Campbell (played by Tamera Mowry) is Tia’s polar opposite! She is highly impulsive, and less intellectual than her sister, and a big fan of Coolio and Hush Puppies shoe brand. Lisa Landry (played by Jackée Harry) is a fashion designer by trade. She is the adoptive mother of Tia, though she is more aligned with Tamera's personality, sometimes even being more impulsive, lustful, and reckless than her daughter's twin. Ray Campbell, portrayed by Tim Reid, is diametrically opposed to Lisa and Tamera's tendencies. A widower who runs a limousine service, he is highly conservative and level-headed. He is the adoptive father of Tamera.

How could one not fall completely in love with such original and refreshing concepts? Obviously Sister, Sister viewing parties were quick to follow. It was there that I met my wife Bernadette. In a debate as to the level of irritation brought to the plot by annoying neighbor Roger Evans, we quickly fell in love; A love that was cradled by a mutual adoration of Sister, Sister. This whirlwind romance was the greatest event in my life, but as evident by the lessons of history, such things are not meant to last. At the end of Season Two of Sister, Sister we received the terrible news. Postings on the official Sister, Sister Fan Billboard declared grim portents of the coming cancellation of our beloved program. Our marriage was revealed to be what it was, and quickly dissolved. There are many nights that I look at pictures of our Sister, Sister themed wedding and cry myself to sleep.

I’ll never understand why you’re company decided to end such a groundbreaking show. Perhaps ABC is simply far too racist, and chauvinist a company to allow such empowered black women to be depicted on your network. The idea must have festered in your CEO’s mind as he watched from his ivory tower on his television of gold and diamonds. Watching these two girls his stomach churned as his white supremacist belief in their unclean blood staining his network’s Friday lineup. ABC’s unrelenting racism aside, Sister, Sister was cancelled.

A dark time in my life preceded the untimely death of this program. The friends I had made at the “Friday Night Sister, Sister Pizza and Discussion” group quickly fell away and I was left to my own ends. I threw myself into my work, but it became obvious that I was in pain as all of my lectures became Sister, Sister oriented. Discussions of The Count of Monte Cristo By Alexandre Dumas, a tale of betrayal, usurpation, and vengeance quickly degenerated into a heated lecture on season one episode two when, having found a date, Tamera sidesteps a pact with Tia in which they agreed to forego the school dance unless they both had dates.

After a forced leave of absence I was elated when the Warner Bros. Network (The WB) had picked up Sister, Sister! 1996-1999 were some of the happiest years of my life. At the end of them tragedy would strike again and the show was once again cancelled. I was prepared in the end, and I believed that I could live a life knowing that Tia and Tamera had been gifted to me again when I had thought they had been lost forever. As the years move forward I realize that the strain has grow to great, and I need them back again in my life.

I now represent the People for the Expedient Return of Sister, Sister and its Proper Glorification Via Further Media Options (PERSSPGVFMO). Members of PERSSPGVFMO reach into the high thirties and continue to grow! Our letters have reached the inboxes of dozens of media groups with the intent of not only bringing back Sister, Sister, but respect to the growth potential it has always had. Originally we had been using simple forms of protest: letters, sit-in, and prayer circles. However, after the addition of Rev. Manbutu, former Black Panther Organizer and Jan Yeminkof, former Yugoslavian freedom fighter, we are now considering more radical methods.

Our demands are simple and listed thus!

-         Sister, Sister will be renewed and granted a thirteen season contract with the entire original cast.
-         PERSSPGVFMO will get final cut on any script submitted for production.
-         ABC will produce forty-seven episodes based on PERSSPGVFMO submitted fan-fiction.
-         Tia and Tamera Mowry will sign a three picture deal with ABC’s parent company The Walt Disney Company. The films will focus on the following themes: 1.) The Twins visit England, 2.) The Twins visit France, and 3.) The Twins are given their own television show, but in the end decide they just want to remain normal teenagers.

Should these demands not be met by the Fall 2011 season the following consequences will occur in sequence per week until production begins:

-         Fires will be set in the Twin Cities Minneapolis and St. Paul
-         Wrigley’s Doublemint Gum factory will be bombed.
-         An unnamed ABC board member will be kidnapped and will loose one body part that he has two of beginning with his thumbs and ending with his testicles.

Thank you for your attention to this issue, we look forward to your addressing the needs of your loyal viewers.

Leonard Graff
Professor of Literature and Language
Texas A&M University